In the course of your life, you’ve had a crush, haven’t you? The cute boy in high school whom you have said that you will “love” forever. That other guy from college that consumed all your thoughts, and you wanted to meet him and be as close to him as you could. That guy in the office, whom you consider to be “the one”. We believe you believed you were in love. But was it really love?
Many people misunderstand the term “crush” or “infatuation” for love. The second and third are both so intense, it’s easy to confuse them as love, but believe it or not, there’s a distinction and it’s a significant one. We often think of our romantic lives as they are depicted in movies , where the couple who are in love are in love and have a happy life… Is that the way you felt about it? It’s probably not the case, and in reality things are slightly different.
Let’s get things clear to a certain extent by discussing the details about what constitutes an obsession, what’s an obsession and what’s love.
1. Infatuation and crush are very alike
Infatuation and crush are two things that go hand-in-hand. A crush is a short but intense attraction to an individual who isn’t attainable or inappropriate. A crush is a temporary and intense affection you feel for an individual. Infatuation is a result of an intense desire for physical pleasure.
2. Love is a powerful feeling of deep affection
It is not like the feeling of a crush or an obsession is a way of accepting an individual (the subject of the love) in the way it is. The feeling of love is one of affection that is deep. Love encompasses many aspects including understanding, patience and forgiveness. Love demands deep connections. It also seeks happiness.
3. When you are in love or affixed by someone, feelings can be intense and are not long-lasting.
The intensity at which the infatuation can be felt the heart is… beyond the realm of possibility. You saw him , and you knew you had to get him. It’s been referred to as “love at first sight”. Infatuation does not allow the feelings to expand and become more intense over the course of time, as happens when it comes to love. It’s instantaneous and they can be as strong as the weight of a boulder.
Additionally, crushes occur and disappear so quickly and you might be in love with him right now, but in the event that nothing happens, that relationship could end in the span of a few months. The love of your life is meant for the long term, no matter if the relationship is successful or not, it will be there in some form or the other remains.
4. If you have a crush or an obsession all you can see is Prince Charming
If you are in love or are enthralled by someone, you have an idea of the person, but not the real person. You imagine all the scenarios you can imagine in your head , like that you and your partner will look amazing together, and simultaneously you design a fantastic life for you two with everything perfect as in the story of a fairytale.
5. Infatuation and crushes are based on the principle of physical attraction
When you are in love there is no way to have a real relationship with the person, so it’s more dependent on the physical traits of that person, and obviously it’s all based upon your own “facts” you have created in your mind. The attraction begins when you think he’s gorgeous and “so hot” and you are in love with the person.
6. Love is an ever-changing process
It is a dynamic process that, as your relationship grows as it matures, develops and experiences all kinds of situations that place it under lots of stress, love can bring out the best in each one of you. As a result of the love you share, you’re in a position to work together, comprehend and be flexible. The process of love is dynamic and implies that you share your emotions, trust , and the development of your relationship.
7. A large part of what makes the distinction between love and infatuation lies in chemical
Infatuation can be described as the result of lust. We desire someone simply since our bodies think they would be a great procreator for a mate, not because of any other reason that we can think of. You’re attracted by the person, you believe you’re attractive and have a charming personality.
The chemical lust that you feel as you fall in love is caused by testosterone and estrogen (sex hormones). Every one of us has these hormones that are present within our bodies, and both are needed during the process of sexual desire. As the concentration of both hormones increases it makes you a bit agitated slightly aggressive , and become distracted by any activity that isn’t sexually rewarding. In addition, when you’re fueled by Norepinephrine and noradrenaline, your body goes back to its most animal-like state and this is necessary to ensure the survival of species.
As things begin to shift from attraction to lust the brain begins pumping out the dopamine hormone and Oxytocin. The hormone that creates feelings of joy and satisfaction is dopamine. This is why when you’re with him, you feel happy and your brain is satisfied and when he’s not in your vicinity, you feel like an addict who needs his “fix”, you need another “dose” so you can be happy and feel good.
If there is love the release of oxytocin also occurs. Oxytocin, which is also known as the bonding chemical releases to form an emotional bond between two individuals. In particular, oxytocin gets released in your brain when you breastfeed, pregnancy, and even in the sex phase, so that you’re in a way, chemically, to feel more emotionally connected to your child, or your partner. The bonding process doesn’t happen with one swipe It takes time this is the reason love takes time to grow.
Infatuation is a chemical desire that is triggered by dopamine and oxytocin. It’s not a conscious decision, you’re just trying to satisfy the chemical desire, and not really about the person. The desire to love makes you selfless, but infatuation is merely an emotional need to end the pain that you feel in the absence of him in your life.
8. Love is a natural phenomenon that occurs without conscious or intentional intention
When you love someone, do not expect anything back. It also includes love and intimacy, it also includes forgiveness and being also patient. True love develops over time and continue to grow throughout your entire life. It’s unconditional and understanding.
9. When you are infatuated, you can’t see on
If you’re enthralled by someone, your life revolves around them Your attention is solely towards him, as are your thoughts. If you wear blinders all the time. Nothing could compare to his looks, his intelligence, and to his ability to think on his feet. What you can’t see, thanks to blinders is what the rest of the world sees. There’s no way to be completely perfect (far far from that) but your bond is rife with lots of flaws. There are also some dangerous traits and behaviours which are causing you to make many bad choices.
10. The desire to love makes you want to build a better life for yourself in all aspects.
It makes you want to become a better friend and more loving person. It will make you want to be the most effective at what you do to ensure the success of your life. If you feel love, and you’re loving him you’ll be eager to live your life fully, to improve it and become an improved person.
11. When you are infatuated, you become really, truly jealous
Infatuation can be accompanied with jealousy. Since your relationship isn’t founded on trust, when you observe him talking or having fun or hanging out with a woman, you become insecure. This is because you want to demonstrate to her and all others that you love him. If you’re enthralled, you’re an endless cycle in which you’re losing him another. If you haven’t yet experienced the confidence that is experienced when you’re truly in love, but you’re not connected.
12. Love is grounded in reality, and it requires time
Infatuation isn’t instantaneous, as is love it takes time to build your heart. What is the length of time? There’s no clear answer, but it will depend on the individual. The love of a person is also rooted in reality. It occurs when you’ve gotten to know him very thoroughly. Once you’ve observed his humanity both the positive as well as negative characteristics as well as when you’ve discussed with him your good and bad times and also when you’ve gotten to know the weaknesses and strengths of his.
13. The pursuit of perfection is the only way to endure
If you’re enthralled by him, according to the eyes of your loved ones, then he should be flawless. You must believe that he’s bigger than life itself. If you can see any hint to reality in your fantasy is going to be destroyed and you’d prefer not to have to see that happen. In your fantasy the person you choose to trust must be strong and beautiful and clean.
14. Love’s 360-degree view and not just a few angles
Love can make both of you… genuine It makes you both real. This is why it’s so scary because it forces you to reveal the real you, and exposes you to his vulnerability. It reveals all the positive aspects, however, all the bad and bad stuff. You can see the entire picture and not just the gorgeous angles that you love the most.
15. Infatuation can wreck havoc on confidence in yourself
Since the desire for perfection is a part of infatuation (needs it, in fact) and you want to be perfect, you’re going desire to be the best for him as well. Then, that desire take over your life and you present an extremely fake version of yourself. In which you display only your best aspects of you. You present the most superficial version of youis all illusions and glares, and that’s exhausting.